Saturday, February 22, 2003
I'm fucking sick of it all. Sick of livingsick of being around my damn sister. I just can't stand it ANYMORE! >_< If they only knew what they did to my nerves. This family couldn't care less anyhow. If you don't want to hear my bitching i suggest leaving now because this is about to become a designated RANT ZONE. I'm fucking sick of jeanna thinking she's a my mother. If she knew how much it pissed me off, she'd know not to do it. Damn it there's so much bullshit going on now. I got in a wreck yesterday. Noone even fucking cared. Then today Wendy starts the whole i need to take better care of myself thing. I've heard it too many times, i'm perfectly happy with how i do things...I don't like having shit changed. I swear i'm fucking falling apart at the seams...Someone pull me from this pit.
~11:17 p.m.
[listening to: Iris-Goo Goo Dolls] Thursday, December 12, 2002
Hey. Well, today was like almost any other...-__- dull boring bullshit. I go to school, sit through molarity in chemistry, then onto Geometry...bah, bunch of horse shit that subject. I sat there, staring at a wall, then the teacher gives us a review, extremely easy, Chemistry and Geometry tests tommorow, not stressing either one. Well, English was okay, read a bunch of those tall tales. God however the hell Mark Twain wrote that god awful crap is beyond me...Well, then comes my most boring hour...US History...we just sat there...all hour...i did make a 103% on my last test though. Well, Vo-Tech was normal, on the ride over there's this kid that keeps annoying my friends and i of our preferences with video games and anime. I got sick of him criticizing us...i blew up on him...i was like "If you don't fucking like it then you don't have to fucking talk to us. We don't talk shit about what you like, so back he fuck off of our case."-Direct quote from me...Honestly, do people judge for the dumbest shit anymore...Well sitting in my room right now...I took 4 tests in Vo-Tech, made 100% on all 4...-__- god i wish some of this would present a challenge to me...Well, not much else to say...might write another entry later. Arivaderchi...
~04:18 p.m.
[listening to: All the Things She Said-Tatu] Wednesday, December 11, 2002
OMG I'm in a fucking frenzy. I'm over at the Vocational Center, but that's not where the story starts, That starts on the bus over here. Well, I've loved Tatu, A group of singing Russian Lesbians, since i heard this song. Well today on the bus ride over the radio station up in Tulsa started playing this song. I was like OMG SWEET!!! >< I couldn't believe it. I hope they make it big over here, but i don't see it happening cause they only have one english song as of right now. Maybe they'll translate Ja Tvoja ne Pervaja. That'd rock. They are awesome not to mention fucking cute!!!. That shit set me in a fucking good mood for the rest of the damn day. Not to mention, I finished the 3rd Harry Potter book last night and started the fourth one today. I'm typing this without loking at te monitor cause i'm not supposed to access these types of sites at school. But i just couldn't hold back this feeling any more. Tatu will OWN YOU ALL!!!! Well, in this class, it's comprised mostly of adults. One of which won't leave me alone for a copy of evangelion. He's a fucking jack ass. He's annoying and if it were at all possibnle i would like completely ignore him, but he's so obnoxious that that would be near impossible. GO AWAY BILL >< Then there is the one over there *points to clay* he's always stealing school cd's so i can burn him music with my laptop. There are others that i don't mind here like daniel he's the first one i actually really talked to, we hsare a lot of the same interests. GAH we had a boring ass BPA meeting, which i'm glad didn't last too long. I have Geometry homework tonight which isn't that big a deal, but i prolly won't do it...i'll spend the evening talking with brandon kelly and jeremy either on the phone on messenger or over Broodwar. I have a lot o fwork i need to be doing for this class but i don't have any intent on doing it for the time being. Clay is over there messing with Front Page very unsucessfully. LMAO i hope he fucks up that comp.... okay well i need to study my IT test stuff now...-__- i'll write again later this evening...good bye
~12:51 p.m.
[listening to:first love, Utada Hikaru] Wednesday, December 4, 2002
Hello. Hmmm today wasn't much different from the rest of the week. Well, frist off i didn't go to school. Then during the course of the long day, i sat in front of the computer really not doing anything. My mom was sick this morning so, i called around and got her an appointment at a dr.'s office. After a few hours, i got bored and decided to take full advantage of my high metabolism, 3 bowls of ramen, a chicken fried steak dinner, ice cream, and a shit load of cookies. o_O; I won't gain an ounce from it either @__@' Well, while not having my sister barging in on me every thirty seconds, me and my mom got some things said that needed to be said. I'm just glad that we got the chance without my sister interjecting something every millisecond. Sometimes i wish i was an only child. It would make things a lot easier, and eliminate a ton of the stress. Is there something about me that people just don't take seriously?...like i'll be dead serious about something they'll look me in the eye and laugh. It's like...well fuck you too...-___- i wish there was something to eliminate all this...but more than likely it won't come from anything i have access too....except death. Well onto the lighter side of things, new layout...made every last thing on it, even all the images and the small banners. I'm proud of this one, cause it's the first one i made everything on. o___O well i suppose i've said enough for the time, possibly more later.
~06:08 p.m.
Tuesday, December 3, 2002
Bunch of god damn crap...I come home from school, mom had one of her meetings. Well I got sick of the firewall blocking what i could do and what i couldn't so i called linksys to see what it disabled and what it didn't, and since i was on the phone with a business, when mom asked what i was doing, i didn't respond, now she's sulking around making a big fucking deal out of nothing. Well, she leaves, and when i get off the phone to go explain to her...she's gone. Well she comes home, goes to her room and shuts the door. Well later my aunt calls and i told her i couldn't get her to respond to the door and she's like "Well you have to do something" i said "I'm not gonna stand there and talk to a damn door, if she wants to act like that then there's nothing i can do" then she tells me mom thinks i moved here for the wrong reason. I am fucking sick of people thinking i moved down here for her money, had i wanted to do that i would have when she first got it not after the majority was fucking spent. Well after that phone call i go into the kitchen and she's making herself a salad. I asked her if i could talk to her, and she just ignored me. So I said "Forget it if you want to act like a damn baby then i'm not gonna bother" and now here i am sitting locked up in my room, sharing desktops with Jeremy and sulking in fucking anger....If my sister tries to get involved, tonight is the night i will put her ass back in it's place. I will not tolerate her interference in my life anymore....It's getting sickening around here...if the shit gets any thicker i'm gone back to texas. I can stand it down there...but this is fucking ridiculous....-__-' well that's all for now...i'll start a new layout now...
~06:27 p.m.
Monday, December 2, 2002
Well, sorry for the delay, i haven't really been busy, just not thinking too much about writing here. Well, not much happened on thanksgiving, went to my aunts house had some turkey and pie, and organized my gigabyte of MP3's =O(finally) well, i think once i get the balls up to do it i'll make yet another layout for this, i've gotten good with images and shit. I've gotten a lot of practice thanks to steph. She's one of my closests friends from the Anime chat. She's the sweetest person i know. She gets along with everyone and is fun to work with. We put together a site for the Anime chat, but j00 aren't getting the link....our bandwidth is nearly exceeded already...@__@ it got popular QUICK. o.o i need to open a new liquid2k account, but the damn liquid2k horse shit appears to be screwing up, i can't even sign into my current account....Well Brandon, Kelly and myself have been spending sometime around each other finally. Kelly and I don't get along real well sometimes, but he's really a good friend...and Brandon, i couldn't have asked for a better friend ever. When i told him i was bi, he didn't even really flinch at it he was like "you're still the same person" i was like T___T that's so damn sweet! lmao It's great to finally get to act like myself instead of hiding who i am from them...like now i can actually say when i think a guy is hot instead of just keeping silent around them...oO as freaky as that sounds...lol Well, a recently added friend online is John. He's cool, one of the most layed back people i've met online, we get along okay. He's a WC3(warcraft III) buff...I got myself addicted to that bomberman online game..lol it's awesome i got the first upgrade rather fast...the second is gonna take some time though. Well, Family life is going good i suppose....my sister thinks she can like...control me, but if she persists with that much longer i'm gonna put her ass back into its place. Well i finished watching Gravitation, my first Yaoi anime series. It was awesome...Ryuichi and Shuichi are the objects of my next layout. Well you see what happens when i don't write here often, i write a mile long entry...o.O well i'm done (for now)...BAI! ^_^
~07:37 p.m.
Wednesday, November 20, 2002
Hello. Well today's events brough about another bad time. I'm afraid it appears mom is on drugs again...she's acting like she did way back before i moved to Texas. I swear if that's the case, i'm back to texas in a heartbeat. I will not stay here if she's going back on that shit. She has more money than she ever had before...if i don't go back to Texas then I will kill myself. The way everything else is going right now, that's the best option. I mean, if i moved i would miss all my friends and stuff, but if i died then i wouldn't have to live with that pain. It's not that big a deal, death, its just a bright light then you don't feel anything. It's almost worth the trip just for that last part. I haven't felt like this since i moved from this place. I think if she is back on it, it's because of me. Well this is getting a little lengthy so i guess i'm going to cut it off now...she's yelling a lot....bye.
~09:51 p.m.
Sunday, November 17, 2002
This is fucking sickening...Kelly, a person I know,(won't call him a friend because he doesn't act like one) is acting like just because i accidentally moved with something that belonged to him that i'm like fucking nothing. All he ever tries to do is get money out of me or get a gift or try to have me buy him something. IT GETS FUCKING SICKENING!I just told them the entire reason for my leaving the town...i think it kinda shocked them...I feel really bad about acting the way i do towards Kelly, but i can't help it..i just feel like he puts up with me because we have a mutual friend. I hate opening up to people like that, but these guys are the closest friends i've had my whole life and i can't just give up on them over a falling out...If i could i would take back the stuff i've done to piss kelly off, but that is beyond my ability. Well with enough of that said i guess i'll be off....night
~10:45 p.m.
Monday, November 4, 2002
this is so fucked up...i moved down here because i thought she had changed, but she just blew up on us and the new puppy. i didn't think that this situation would occur again but it looks like i thought wrong. SHe put the poor puppy out in the rain because she used the bathroom on the floor. Damn what do u expect, she isn't house broken yet. She's the one that went out and spent all the money on the thing, and she doesn't even want the responsibilities that come with it. If this keeps up then i'm going back to texas. I will not put up with it again! it happened for too long for me to do it again. I can't do it again...my nerves and my soul can't handle it.
~09:44 p.m.
